Kiss Me Like You Wanna Be Loved
by blindreckless-love
Summary: Your heart's against my chest, lips pressed to my neck, I'm falling for your eyes but they don't know me yet, and with this feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now; follow the path of Serena's return and the unexpectedly, totally expected reunion between S and her true love, Nate, the way I would have wanted it to happen after coming back from boarding school . . . Rated T for safety.


A shock of gold.

That was the only thing that filled Nathaniel Archibald's glittering green-eyed gaze, as he trudged his way down the cracked narrow sidewalk of New York's Upper East Side. At first, he thought it was his mind playing tricks on him, _again_, but the closer he moved, the more he pushed his way through the slowly thinning crowd, the faster his feet took him, he knew for a fact that **she **had finally made her long-awaited return. He debated whether or not he should call out her name, but there was the small pang of doubt that swirled around in the pit of his stomach and lodging deep at the base of his throat, that told him it wasn't her, that it was him just getting his hopes up. After all, what were the odds that he, of all people, would notice the goddess that once ruled the Upper East Side before disappearing off to some boarding school for unknown reasons . . . after they'd lost their virginity to each other last year.

If only he was able to tell her how much that hurt him when his girlfriend of a year had told him that she heard from a certain blonde's mother that she'd taken up the offer of going to boarding school. It tugged painfully at his heart when he thought of the many talks they had together, it was him who'd convinced her not to leave New York, that the city would suck with her gone, and in truth, _it had_. He studied her as he helplessly followed in her walk, making sure to keep a safe distance just in case it _wasn't _her, like his thoughts told him; she looked stunningly gorgeous, but when didn't she? Her creamy pale legs looked a mile long in the flowing dress that brushed against just below mid-thigh, he couldn't help but notice the way her well-developed breasts bounced with every step she took, the dress moving graciously with her perfect body. The champagne color of her dress made her hair look a brilliant yellow-gold, her eyes looked wider and a shade darker than navy. Nate swallowed hard as there grew a certain tightness in his khaki pants, the more he gazed at who he hoped it might be, the more he walked after her, and the more he thought of what he wished he could do the moment he proved that _Serena van der Woodsen_ had finally made her return to the glamorous playground of New York. But the sudden vibration in his coat pocket brought him back to reality. With a groan, Nate pulled his white iPhone out, and checked to see that his best friend was calling him; the groan disappeared immediately and a smile flickered on his pale lips, as he accepted the invitation to have a phone chat, bringing it to his ear.

"Nathaniel." The familiar voice of Chuck Bass echoed in Nate's ear.

"My good ol' Bass." Nate chuckled softly, hoping that his voice could not be heard through the chatter that cluttered around as Nate crossed the street, still following after a hopeful particular blonde. "What do I owe the pleasure of hearing from you?"

"It's been a while since anyone's heard from you, just making sure that you're alive, Archibald." Chuck replied in his usual smokers voice that somehow lured in almost every girl in the entire city. As much as Nate loved his best friend, the one guy he considered a brother since he was the only child of Anne and the Captain, as he was dubbed throughout Manhattan's elite, Chuck was as close to as sibling Nate could get since his own childhood.

"I'm alive and well, Bass." Nate's eyes followed the blonde, making sure he didn't lose track of her within the distance that he kept. Nate contemplated whether or not he should share with Chuck that _she _might have finally returned from boarding school, but then again, she was never really Chuck's biggest fan, and he knew how much Chuck ogled his oldest friend. "Look, man. I've gotta go, I'll talk to you later."

"Heading on over to your girlfriend's?" Chuck pressed with curiosity. _Fuck_, Nate mentally groaned as he was ready to press the end button on the phone call. Honestly, Nate had forgotten all about going over to the Waldorf's for . . . ugh, he didn't even remember why he was going over there, he was _a little _stoned when he'd talked to Blair about the gathering for something involving Eleanore. That nasty habit of his, that he'd picked up the previous year with all of his friends, it caused a small giggle to surpass his lips as those thoughts flooded his brain. "Nathaniel?"

"What? Yeah, uh, yeah I'm going over there now. I'll stop on over at The Palace when I'm done with . . . whatever at Blair's." Nate's voice became an octave higher, and he didn't even realize it until the blonde started to slowly turn around; Nate's eyes widened and he did his best to hide behind as many people as possible, hoping that he blended into the crowd that bustled the busy streets of New York.

When he saw that she turned back to facing forward, a giant sigh of _relief _escaped his lips, ending the phone call between him and Chuck before anything else could be said. Oh, _my fuck_, Nate thought to himself as he suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. From the turning of her face, it was one hundred percent confirmed that _she _was making a grand reappearance to the city, and it made his heart take off like helicopter blades inside of his chest, as much as he hated to admit it, and he knew it was because of how he felt about the blonde that was several people ahead of him. But it was the fact that _he_ knew about this, and **only **him. But that wouldn't last long, once other people caught sight of her, and a not-so-welcome Welcoming Blast came from everyone's _favorite _anonymous blogger, Gossip Girl.

—

_Could it be?_

_New York's very own Princess strolling merrily down the streets of the Upper East Side with an armful of shopping bags from her favorite stores? Or is this another blonde sighting of who we hope to be our infamous Serena van der Woodsen, who mysteriously disappeared right before entering junior year? We all have our hopes that we will one day see the former Queen of Constance, but we know that's probably a long shot, she has better things to do than be sitting upon the steps of the Met with her best friend, Blair Waldorf, or kicking back and partying with the people she's known her entire life. Ms Serena has been MIA since what feels like forever, but we all know that's not going to _last _forever, all the best rulers need to return to their kingdom and claim what is there's before it's too late. Come on out, S. It's not polite to keep your adoring public waiting. _

_You know you love me, xoxo.  
Gossip Girl._

_—_

The very blonde that was on Gossip Girl's current "possible sighting" closed her silver MacBook Air, and pushed it away from her body with her toes across her bed. Serena twirled her bracelet around on her thin wrist, wondering how this was possible; she had been so discreet when going shopping earlier that day, flopping to lying on her back and staring up at the ceiling of her bedroom, her thumb brushing along the topaz heart-shaped stone that studded her gold bracelet. After returning from her boarding school in Connecticut, she thought it would be best to relieve some stress by shopping therapy, before stopping to go see her younger brother; her main reason to return to New York. And then it sparked in her mind, as she remembered hearing an oddly familiar voice as she walked down 34th street, having her bags in tow; but when she'd turned around, there was no face to match the voice, much to her disappointment. When she returned to her penthouse, threw her bags to the ground, took a long hot bubble bath, and changed into her comfortable clothing, she had the strongest urge to check Gossip Girl, something she promised herself that she wouldn't do when she left New York the previous year. She hadn't gone on Gossip Girl her entire time at boarding school, despite how much she missed her friends that she'd left behind, especially, _especially_, ESPECIALLY Nate Archibald, the very person she could have sworn she heard walking behind her in the city sometime in the afternoon after her arrival back into town. And she'd kept good to her promise, until now, since people were probably raving about whether or not it was true that Serena had returned to New York, rather unexpectedly, without a word to anyone, not even Blair.

And just as luck would have it, her phone blew up into a vibrating frenzy, indicating that Serena was receiving a phone call. She snatched it out from under her pillow, dragging it along the silky soft-as-spiderweb champagne-gold down filled duvet, tapping the answer button with her thumb without even checking to see who'd bothered her moment of supposed peace. No words were spoken, instead it was just the sound of someone's husky breathing on the other line, Serena slowly sat up on her bed, pulling her laptop back to her and opening it up, typing Facebook into the URL of Safari, then immediately closing out of the link, looking casually around her vast, perfect and immaculately decorated bedroom.

"Serena?" A voice finally said into the receiver.

The blonde's breath caught in her throat, a slight rivet becoming of her heart inside of her chest; she slowly lowered herself to laying back down on her bed, staring up as she dragged her feet, pointing her knees up at the ceiling."N_—Nate_?"

"Yeah," The male on the other end said in what sounded like a breathless chuckle. "It's me. Why do you sound so surprised?"

Serena was quiet for a moment, why _did _she sound surprised? After all, he had sent her letters and had called her several times since her departure to go to boarding school, leaving her various messages for him to call her back so they could talk, wondering if she was okay and asking about boarding school. But she had never answered, or returned his calls, never wrote back to his letters _— _she wanted some kind of fresh start, a clean slate, turning over a new leaf, when she'd been in boarding school, and that's exactly what she'd been doing, but if it weren't for what happened with her younger brother, she'd still be there. Maybe. After all, she'd done some pretty fucked up things while she was away, but in her mind, it was nothing compared to sleeping with her best friend's boyfriend, and then having to watch as Nate chose Blair over her, over what _they_ had, pretending to be okay with that, pretending that she wasn't dying on the inside, that it wasn't killing her that the only boy she's ever loved in her life, thought of it as a one-time _thing_.

"Serena?" Nate's voice filled her ear again.

"What? Oh, sorry." She mumbled in apology, a soft sigh touching her pale pouty pink lips, she stretched her legs out so they were flat against her bed again. "I was just... thinking."

"How come I haven't heard from you in a year, Serena?" Nate wondered, and then softly added, "I've missed you.. _a lot._"

"I — I've missed you too." She replied just as softly, twirling a strand of her pale blonde hair mindlessly around her long, elegant finger, staring at the sparkly sapphire ring that was on her middle finger. "Things have been really, uh... I didn't have ... I was really busy, while I was away at summer school." She stammered out nervously, hating the qualms that stirred around in the space behind her belly button, the butterflies becoming a frenzy, their imaginary wings fluttering as fast as her heart beat.

"Hey, um.. I meant to ask... Are you, uh, are you back.. in, erm, New York?" Nate was almost as nervous as she was, and it made a small smile flicker to her lips, the corners turning up ever so slightly more than she anticipated too. It was so cute, to hear the Upper East Side's Golden Boy sound so nervous, so unsure, that it reminded her of the many adventures of last year before she'd left for boarding school. "I saw that _— _I saw the Gossip Girl blast about how you might, um, just... uh," And then Nate started laughing hysterical, bursting into a bunch of giggles, and Serena bit her lip hard to prevent laughing with him. Could he _be _any cuter?

"Hey, what are your plans for today?" Serena asked, trying to change the subject, but also staying on the subject at the same time.

"Um..." Nate hesitated.

_Was he going to see Blair? _Serena wondered. _More than likely_, she decided to herself as she waited for her (former?) best friend to answer her question. "If not, do you want to — could you possibly... I'm, uh, I'm b—"

"I don't know who's more nervous, me or you." Nate crowed in a laugh, his voice sounding huskier than it had before. But she was glad that he pointed out that they were both nervous, and it wasn't just her imagination running wild again. But what had gotten into him? _Pot_, my dear. Seems like the arrival of the favorited blonde is causing the golden-haired, green-eyed sixteen year old boy to resort back to his old ways, if he'd ever gotten off his days of being high to begin with. She swallowed heavily, and took a deep breath. Serena van der Woodsen was not someone who was usually nervous., she was always quick with what she had to say, got straight to the point, and didn't hold back, it was in her blood, so to speak; unless it involved talking to Nate, naturally.

"I'm back in the City, and I was wondering if you'd wanna come over." The words rolled off her tongue before she had a chance to think them over, and then softly gasped at the end of her sentence, sucking in that gasp to hold her breath, wondering what he could say, wondering if he was busy to go see Blair, wondering if he just might—

"I'm on my way." He breathed, and then hung up the phone with a quick, soft _click_. Serena pulled the phone away from her ear, watching as the screen flashed, signaling that the phone call ended, fading to the lock screen of her iPhone, smiling to herself as she set her phone on the bedside table, swinging her legs over the edge of her bed to leap up to her feet.

—

Nate Archibald swallowed the apple-sized lump that formed in his throat, shoving his iPhone into his pocket, loose and lazily tying up the laces on his classic Converse. It had taken a lot of courage for him to finally grow the balls to call Serena to see if Gossip Girl had been right about the possible sighting of Serena, even though he'd seen her on the streets, it was just something that he _had _to be one hundred percent sure of, to hear it from _her _that she was definitely back in town and away from boarding school. He couldn't believe that Serena was inviting him over, after all the time that they hadn't talked in the past year from her not responding to anything of his, he couldn't believe how nervous she was, and it was a relief to him, since he was just as nervous. But after a few hits, Nate had calmed himself down, hoping it wasn't _too _obvious to his friend that he'd smoked some while they were on the phone. As luck would have it for young Archibald, he had called Blair earlier to let him know that he was on his way over for the gala thing that her mother was throwing, and that's when his girlfriend had informed him that it wasn't until the _following _evening that the Waldorf's would be throwing their soirée. However, she invited him over so they could spend some _time_ together, but Nate politely declined, saying that he had some kind of call thing with his Dad while his parents were still in town, and that he had told the Captain that it would have to be put on hold since it was important for him to attend the party at the Waldorf's. Of course, Blair believed him. Just like Nate always pulling this kind of shit right out of his ass whenever there was something **else **that he needed to do, that didn't involve Blair, and _wouldn't _involve Blair, as bad as that sounded from the boyfriend's perspective. But now that Nate knew Serena was back in town, he had the strongest feeling she didn't want anyone else knowing until she was ready, especially after the "possible sighting" blast of her in the streets.

Now, as he rushed himself out the Archibald's town house, flagging down the nearest cab to save him the long-ass walk and preventing being sweaty from when he was finally reunited with Serena, he barked out the address to the greasy cab driver as he slammed the door after he slid on the grimy leather seat. Once the car jerked forward into motion, Nate relaxed against the seat, taking a deep breath and staring up at the cab's roof, grabbing at his phone in his pocket, trying to slow the erratic beating of his heart, but found it utterly pointless; his heart would jump just as excitedly inside of his chest the moment he saw the golden-haired beauty up close and directly in person.

Approximately fifteen minutes later the cab pulled up in front of The Palace, where he knew the van der Woodsen's were staying, but for unknown reasons. He paid the driver the amount of cash that was owed, climbing out and hip-checking the door closed, giving a small wave to the doorman, who smiled weakly back as he held the door for the younger, almost seventeen year old boy. Nate brushed passed him, shoving both hands into his pockets with a giggle, making his way into the elevator, staring blankly up at the ceiling after punching in the floor number that the van der Woodsen's lived on, humming along with the music that played softly through the speakers. He walked out when the elevator dinged, shuffling down the long, narrow hall in search for the room number. He had stopped by the van der Woodsen's earlier in the months before Serena's return to see Eric, he had grown fond of the younger boy. It was nice to hang out with someone that wasn't Chuck Bass or one of his stoner friends, plus he was also in high hopes that Eric had done some talking to Serena since she'd left for boarding school, and in truth, Eric had heard as much from his sister as the rest of them.

"Nathaniel! Done at Blair's already?" Someone chuckled ahead of Nate. His green eyes flickered to see that Chuck was walking from the opposite end of the hallway, decked out in his usual blazer jackets and casual jeans that he saved for the weekends, his feet shuffling in a pair of worn sneakers, his signature scarf and tie were loosely around his neck. Nate had never seen his long-term friend look so _disheveled_, outside of his apartment. _  
_

"Uh, yeah. But I came to talk to Eric, afterward, I'll go over to your suite." Nate lied, because in truth, he'd forgotten all about hanging out with Chuck once he'd finished whatever he was supposedly mingling at the Waldorf's party that was now the next day. An uncertain look shadowed on Chuck's face, one that Nate could not decipher. Did he know something? Did he know that Serena was back in town? It would explain why Chuck was wandering _this very _wall, and not being cooped in his suite, as the Bass' did not live on that floor in the Palace. But neither of them said anything, instead they brushed passed each other without looking over their shoulders, Nate eventually knocking on the van der Woodsen's hotel/apartment-like door, and letting out a shuddering breath.

"One second!" A melodic voice trilled from the other side.

Moments later the door swung open to reveal Serena, no longer wearing the clothes she'd debuted while wandering about the streets of Manhattan, her hair damply transformed from pale to a ashy dark blonde swept messily up on top of her head in one of those buns that he always sees girls contorting their hair into, a sheer pink tank top covered her torso and scandalous black shorts that looked like they were reserved for underwear covered her bottom. The lump formed in Nate's throat again as he looked Serena over, and desperately tried to swallow it. Why must she do this to him? Did she _conveniently _forget that it was a not even twenty minute ride from the Archibald's townhouse to the Palace?

"Nate, hi!" Serena sounded alarmed, a dark red blush splashed at her cheeks, blushing furiously. "I didn't think you'd be here, so soon."

"We kinda took a short cut." He shrugged, trying to keep his eyes on Serena's face, focusing on her almost-navy blue eyes.

"Come in." She said quietly, Nate nodded and stepped into the hotel room, his hands remaining shoved deep into his pockets, while Serena disappeared to hiding behind the door of her bedroom. He stared at a piece of artwork that Serena's mother, Lily, had recently put up while he waited for his friend to come back out to the "public eye" of her family's suite; he turned at the sound of a door creaking open, to see that it was Lily who was coming from probably her own bedroom, wearing a satin-lined white pea coat, white gloves that his mother wore to the opera house, dark jeans, and a pair of boots. A scarf was dangling around the elder blonde woman's neck, her blue eyes widening in surprise at the sight of Nate standing in the foyer of the family's suite.

"Nathaniel." She sounded almost as startled as Serena had when he first showed up.

"Hello Mrs. van der Woodsen." He mustered quietly, looking over at Serena and Eric's mother.

"Erm, Nathaniel, Eric isn't... Eric hasn't been around, he's off in Miami. I thought you knew?" Lily continued to sound nervous; it was obvious that she was trying to hide the fact that Serena was back in town. Clearly, she didn't know about the possible sighting on Gossip Girl, not that Nate expected her to, and he didn't know that he'd talked to her daughter, personally, himself.

"He knows, Mom." Serena's voice ghosted out from her bedroom as she walked out, now wearing a pair of black skinny jeans and a slouchy sweater, the black and white stripes brought out her rosy complexion on her smooth pale skin, her blonde hair was still a knot on top of her head. Nate thought she looked incredible, even with no makeup caked on her face like she had worn the year before.

Lily was bewildered, as she looked over at her only daughter. "You told him?"

"I can't keep a secret from Nate, mother." Serena replied with a slightly stern tone.

"Well," Lily appeared uncomfortable now, shifting her weight from one foot to the other, it was the first time that Nate had ever seen Mrs. van der Woodsen look like that, in all the years that he's known her. "I'll be on my way, then." She looked over at her daughter one more time before leaving the hotel suite, closing the door behind her.

Nate and Serena looked at each other, before collapsing into a fit of hysterical giggles, embracing each other in a tight hug. He buried his face against her neck, tightening his arms around the gracious blonde he'd missed so much, inhaling her sweet, sugary scent with the closing of his eyes. Nate ultimately felt like he never wanted to let go of her, his fingers caressing up and down her back, massaging at the spaces between her ribs, rubbing along the contour of her spine, causing Serena to shiver in what felt like delight. Her arms were neatly draped on his hips, her small hands clutching at the small of his back, pulling their bodies together as the laughter died down, since there was nothing funny anymore. Serena's memory flashed to the night they'd lost their virginity, how they'd been laughing so much even though nothing was relatively funny, while they did it in the abandoned bar while everyone else was enjoying themselves at the Sheppard's wedding. Her skin warmed at the memory of Nate's hands on her bare skin, his lips nipping and kissing every inch of her body that he could, the seductive way her name came breathlessly from passed his lips when their bodies were conjoined as one. Quickly, those thoughts were shaken away from Serena's mind, her eyelids fluttering opened, her eyelashes dusting against Nate's neck, she pulled away to look at him, an adoring smile playing her lips.

And Nate wanted nothing more, than to kiss her, and kiss her, and just do everything to Serena, to love Serena the way he had a year ago.

Neither of them noticed how their heads were slowly leaning inward, until their hitched breathing was softly, gently touching each other's lips. If it weren't for Serena to take the risky plunge of resting her lips lightly on top of Nate's, they would have parted awkwardly, and tried their hardest to forget that the two of them were centimeters apart with the sexual tension rising. Now, Nate's arms constricted Serena, but his hands slipped down to gripping behind her thighs, lifting the petite blonde off the ground and slamming her back hard into the wall, riskily giving a more ferocious, hungry kiss, pinning her against the wall. Serena's fingers threaded through Nate's golden-brown hair, knotting and twisting, tugging lightly, returning the kiss just as fierce, the passion that she'd kept locked inside for over a year, exploding, the longer their lips stayed connected, the more heated their actions and gestures became.

"Room." Nate mumbled against Serena's lips, slowly pulling her away from the wall and carrying her, whisking off to Serena's bedroom, leaving the door wide open as he playfully threw the blonde onto the bed. She burst out laughing as her body collided with the mattress, tossing and turning, kicking her legs lightly with her head thrown back. There was just something _hilarious _about what Nate had done to her. He pulled his t-shirt over his head, chucking it to the floor before climbing up onto Serena's bed, dragging her by the ankles toward him as she started to crawl away, giggling. She yelped, rolling onto her back just as her body was fully in front of Nate's. A sly smile formed as she grabbed the hem of her sweater, sliding the top off her body, letting it fall freely wherever to the floor of her room; Nate's eyes voluntarily widened when he saw that Serena had not been wearing a bra underneath. Her perky, rosy nipples and full, voluptuous breasts awaited, just like the rest of her perfect body. A sexual growl came from his throat as he leaned down to Serena, cupping one breast in his hand, running his thumb over her erect nipple, his lips attacking hers once more.

Serena moaned softly into his mouth, her chest arching up against his when his thumb found its way to rolling it around and playing with her nipple. His other hand grabbed at her jeans, ignoring the silly button and zipper, tearing them down her pale mile-long legs, and chucking the pants behind him, hoping Serena wouldn't be _too _mad about the outcome of her pants, shimming off his own after wriggling them down over his hips, kicking them off to the end of the bed, grabbing one of Serena's thighs and bringing it to his bare hip, right above the brim of his boxers. Instinctively, her legs just wrapped around him, his hard member, encased by the silk fabric of his boxers, poked at her core gently, and slowly his hips thrust forward, to tease the blonde. She whined a little, her hands pressing hard against his back, trying to pull him closer to her than he already was, grinding up into him. Nate groaned, hooking a finger in the side of her underwear and ripping them right off, Serena's hand pulling at his tented boxers, yanking them down to expose him; it was quick and painless for Nate's manhood to fill Serena, burying himself to the hilt, his thrusts starting out slow and tentative, reaching his now free hand to lace his fingers intertwined with one of Serena's hands, looking down at her, carefully watching for her reactions. Her eyelids were fluttering, soft moans emitted from her lips, her nails began to dig at Nate's back, and her hips moved in sync with his.

Man, was she beautiful, Nate observed as he started thrusting a little harder and faster, keeping his eyes locked on Serena.

—

Her golden blonde head rested on the muscular, toned chest that belonged to Nate Archibald, her fingertips stroking lightly along his happy trail, a smile illuminating her flawless face. Her muscles had stretched to the point where she was aching and tired, from the amount of _sessions _she and Nate had given their "not-so-friendly" hellos to each other since his arrival to the van der Woodsen's suite. A red ring was imprinted into the side of Serena's neck, and below that was a purple bruise-like shadow, the two beloved markings that Nate had accidentally-purposely left there sometime during their intimacy, and she would wear it proudly, it was proof that she was his, and only his. His fingertips trailed up her spin with a feather-light touch, sending her into an arousing shock of shivers, and then she couldn't help but start giggling into his chest. Nate didn't comment, it was just very _Serena _of her to do that, which was perfectly fine with him.

Nate was staring up at the frothy white canopy that hung down in clouds over Serena's luxurious bed, his chest rising and falling unevenly.

Serena moved her head a little, nuzzling her face into the crook of his neck, breathing in the strangely alluring scent of sex-sweat and sandalwood soap that radiated off her oldest friend, and first love. _I want you_, _I need you_, _I love you_. She wanted Nate to be hers, and only hers, forever. She'd had him first, she'd kissed him first, she'd even had sex with him first, and wasn't that enough to cling to each other for the rest of eternity? She thought so, and she hoped he thought the same, because in truth, she knew that they were each other's first loves, even if it wasn't to be spoken aloud. His love consumed her; it was utterly perfect, she could be smothered in his love and never grow tired of it, especially if his love was expressed in _that _particular way, referring to what they'd just done with each other. The love was hidden, buried in between the thrusts, moans, and orgasms, but it was strongly visible in both of their hearts, in their touches and whispers, they could both feel it, it could not be forgotten or restrained. Serena van der Woodsen wanted nothing more, than to continue feeling the warmth that came from Nate every time she was around him, the comfort that reappeared as soon as she heard his voice on the phone earlier that day, he made her feel so welcomed in New York, where as she had the strongest feeling that it wouldn't be the same with everyone else that she'd left behind a year prior.

Nate pressed his lips to Serena's sex-sweat-matted locks, giving her a soft kiss, hugging her body closer to his, his muscles flexing in his arm. He could feel her smile against the skin of his neck, his green eyes flickering down to where his marks were, and he could feel his own smile forming; it was a triumphant feeling that electrocuted and wrapped itself throughout Nate's stark naked body, and so much more, that he could not identify this proper emotion, he just knew that it was strong, fast growing. . . there was no way to stop this, despite _who _had never crept into his mind once this entire time since arriving at the hotel suite. And it was best he kept that name out of his thoughts, until at least later, so he didn't feel guilty while holding his angel in his arms. Truthfully, he loved having her this close to him, laying on the bed next to him in his arms, feeling like they could make it through anything and nothing in the world could stop them from how they truly meant to one another; he wanted to see this girl when he woke up in the morning, and when he fell asleep the upcoming or previous night.

Serena closed her eyes, sliding her hand over to resting on Nate's hip bone, digging her fingers against his side, clutching herself closer to him, tangling their legs under the blanket that covered them. They shared such an incredible, electric, and intense connection that neither of them thought still existed after her time away, but Serena could feel the familiar hollow thumping of her heart inside of her chest. She had felt this after her and Nate slept together the first time, and when she had to leave New York behind, leave Nate behind; it stayed with her in her various flings because she knew that her heart would always belong to Nate, despite him breaking it, breaking her, without even entirely knowing it. She wanted him to feel the unconditional love that coursed through her veins, she could tell that it had sparked inside of him long ago, but he wasn't as open about it, as she was willing, and_ that_ hurt. He wants to feel, what she feels, because they both knew, that it conjoined them as one, their love was inevitable. Slowly and softly, her lips pressed to his neck, as she lifted her body slightly up from the bed, partially laying herself on him, but still remaining on the bed, as Nate grabbed her hand, lacing their fingers tightly intertwined, and squeezed gently.

He felt her lips, but could not smile. He just knew that the gesture, the affection she was giving, was passionate and gentle. And that's one thing he loved, from her, it was the kindest of reassurance that she didn't see him as an object of sex, as he thought most of the girls that went to Constance Billard did, despite who he was with. It was loving, nurturing, and adorning. Just like he saw Serena as, in her most vulnerable times, in her sweetest times, _all _the time. He held Serena tighter in his grasp of the one arm that was wrapped around her, using his free arm, using his hand to tip her chin so he could place the kiss on her lips that gave her the same reassurance, deep and passionate, with the tedious amount of ferocity. _Love_. It was love, that allowed Serena to see a different side of Nate, and vice versa. They fell in love with everything about each other, their flaws and perfections, their fucked up lives that they had at home, their undeniably gorgeous naturally good looks, the personalities that neither of them would change about each other, because it's what _made_ them who they are. But there is so much about each other, that they have to learn, their eyes only scratch the surface of their loves, but it's somehow enough, because in time, all of the time in the world they had together, they will **learn**, they want each other to know the things that no one else does.

Serena raised her hand to cupping Nate's cheek, her thumb stroking at his well defined cheek bone softly, as she returned Nate's surprising kiss. The amount of pressure that she applied, was the balancing of passion that succumbed her whenever she was in Nate's presence; the intensity showed him just how much she had let his love consume her, that she forgot the strong amount of pain she'd been left with for a year, she did not feel lonely or empty inside, as she did while in Connecticut, the hollow ache inside of her body that lingered in her tissues, his overpowering love was strong enough to make it all disappear, that he was _amazing_, everything that Serena ever wanted, and will _always _want. His hands grasped at her hips firmly, sliding her to sitting on his lap, sitting up so he had better access of kissing Serena, erasing away the lingering pain that may have been a thimble in her heart from the exchanging of their dangerous, exciting and adventurous passion that molded itself into their intimate connection.

"Serena?" Nate's voice was a barely audible whisper. It was the first time either of them had spoke since long before they finished riding out their orgasms together; and it startled her to hear the sound of his voice; her head pulled away from his slightly, a tiny smile showing on her lips, as she looked him over. She carefully raised an eyebrow at him, wondering what it was that he could tell her. . . was it something involving a certain brunette? Did he regret this, like she felt as if he had when they first had sex last year? She bit her tongue, to keep from saying anything that she didn't want to, waiting for him to speak. "I'll be your safety, and you're _my lady_."

"Natie?" She squeaked out softly, using his childish name that she'd always called him since as long as she could remember. "I love you, I _really _love you. More than anything, and I just want you to know that, because you hold my heart forever." The blush returned to Serena's cheeks, and that made Nate smile; he gently squeezed her hips, sliding her from his lap so she resumed to laying next to him, his arm clutching Serena to him; immediately she nuzzled up against him. Really, Nate loved Serena too, just as much as she loved him — he was in love with her, and he wanted nothing more than to stay with her, to keep her warm and safe, to let her know that she was loved all the time, to never let her go. This, without Serena, was not something he could fathom. It was torture just for her being away for the past year, and he was so glad that he was the first to officially know that she was here, with the exception of her mother, of course.

Without even saying anything else, Nate knew that Serena was a little sketchy on the fact that he loved her and wanted her, given the fact that he chose _Blair _instead of her the day after they'd slept together. The boy remembered every detail of that night, right down to the strong urge to let everyone in the entire world know that he was in love with Serena, and that he had been the one to take away her innocence, that they were perfect for each other in every possible way, there wasn't a day that went by where he didn't think about Serena, or their time together, or their journey since they were little kids, how far they've come to where they are now, lying naked on Serena's bed while no one else was home. It made Serena wonder, if Nate understood just how strong her intoxicating feelings were for him, and at the same time, she knew her answer because he returned it in such a massive amount that there were no words in the English Dictionary to even describe the distinctness of it all. It was something neither of them wanted to feel, but they couldn't look passed it, they were in too deep to find a way to stop loving each other _so fucking much_. There was no escape, and it wasn't like they wanted to, anyway. They craved each other's heart, they wanted each other, they penetrated each other's soul. Their bodies were connected in ways that could not be explained, physically... hell, perhaps even spiritually, from how conjoined they knew they were from the start; Serena wanted all of Nate, and Nate wanted all of Serena, they made each other whole.

There was no hiding the truth._ Ever_.

Nate thought of how perfectly Serena fit in his arms, how perfectly their bodies fit together, like they were made for one another. How beautifully intoxicating she was, that she consumed him almost as badly as a drug that he could not get enough of; he wanted to feel this forever, no doubt, as he had assured himself thousands of times after realizing that he was in love with her; it was a transforming love, one that could never be reversed. He thought of how much they could have possibly gone through in the past year, what fun may lie ahead in their futures of being in each others lives—

"Nate, can I tell you something, that—that you can't repeat to anyone, not even Blair?" Serena's lashes dusted against his skin, but she didn't look up at him.

"Of course." He murmured in response.

"The reason I came back from boarding school, was ... was because Eric tried to commit suicide." Still, her head rested on him, her eyes didn't move to looking up at him to see his reaction. From what she'd heard from her mother, Eric and Nate had formed a brotherly bond, but it wasn't something that could be like Nate and Chuck's tight-knit friendship that's been rock-hard since birth, and she knew for a fact that Nate had not known about what happened to her brother, because only immediate family had known, including Serena's father, but there had been absolutely no word from him, as far as Serena knew, after Eric's incident.

"I'm so sorry that happened, S. I can't imagine how broken you'd be if he succeeded..." Nate's voice trailed off softly, thinking of the little van der Woodsen. He swallowed heavily; how long had Eric been contemplating and struggling with the decision of whether or not to take his life? Nate didn't want to know, for he feared the answer, if Serena _knew_ that answer. But what Nate _did _know, was that he wanted to stand by Serena's side through the dark periods in her life, to help her get through every fucked up thing to happen to her, to her family, to anyone around her that she cared about; that he would always love her, that his love could remove the pain that clung in the depths of her heart for so many reasons that she might not even remember until a flicker of a memory surfaces in her mind, the same way she had helped him, and the way that she'd always been there for Blair, up until her departure. He knew for a fact, after this, that it probably hadn't been _easy _to give up something —someone— she loved so much.

Nate lowered his head toward Serena's once more, cradling her secure and tight in his arms, pressing his lips softly against hers, both of their eyes fluttering closed. With that single kiss, it was locked and sealed, that they could show each other how much they needed one another, how much they wanted to be loved by each other, that they were S &N, they were everything, they could be _forever_. Just like they wanted. They weren't alone, and they didn't _have_ to be alone.

"I love you." They whispered in sync softly under their breaths, their lips still connected.

And in truth, it was so much more than just love.

—

_Gossip Girl, here. __Your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite. _

_I will make this short and quick, try not to be blind-sided by my unthoughtly wit. I'm not spilling whether or not S is back to raise hell above, we'll save that for another day, but it's no secret that little N is star-struck in love. Where is he, not with B. Insider can only tell that C bumped into a certain golden boy in The Palace hotel. Someone's getting hot and steamy, but a look in their eyes is anything but innocently dreamy. While B is left alone to plan tomorrow's event with her mother, does anyone have some dirt on the disappearance of S's little brother? Oh dear, I hope I haven't said too much, but now that some cats are out of the bag we're going to keep a close eye on this little bunch. _

_And who am I? That's one secret I'll never tell. _

_You know you love me, xoxo,  
Gossip Girl._


End file.
